5 steps to help get rid of guilt
Hands up if you’ve felt guilty today? Maybe you feel you didn’t spend enough quality time with your kids or worry you’re doing a bad job at work as well as home.
Don’t worry you’re not alone. Mums are often their own worst enemies, putting enormous pressure on themselves to be all things to all people. So, how do we banish these feelings of guilt and feel great about ourselves instead?
Based on her experience coaching hundreds of mums to help them gain greater fulfillment in their lives, Fiona Clark, founder of Inspired Mums, shares her top tips to help you feel guilt-free once and for all.
1. Give yourself a break
Try not to set yourself impossibly high standards – instead remember that good is good enough. Don’t beat yourself up for giving your kids beans on toast for tea or putting them in front of the TV while you catch up on emails. Remember to look at the bigger picture and recognise all the different ways you support your children.
2. Focus on the positives
Ask yourself on a regular basis “what’s positive about being a working mum?” Perhaps it’s more financial security, being a good role model for my children, or feeling more fulfilled through having more in your life… Use this list to keep your situation in perspective. Feel proud about what you have, rather than focusing on the downsides.
3. Empty your worry bucket
When you feel your worry bucket is overflowing, write down a list of all the things that are bothering you. Then work out which of these things are actually happening and that you can actually do something about. For example, if you feel guilty working during the school holidays, then consider negotiating some unpaid leave or working from home. If there’s nothing you can do about some of the worries, then simply remove them from your worry bucket and feel the weight lift off your shoulders.
4. Celebrate what you do achieve
Being a mum can sometimes feel like a thankless task. As chief cook, taxi driver and cleaner, it’s easy to lose sight of whether we are doing a good job or not. So take the time to congratulate yourself on all you achieve on a daily basis and reward yourself with some small treats – whether it’s a coffee with friends, a trip to the cinema or a visit to the shops. So many mums focus on what they haven’t done with their kids, rather than what they have done. Shifting your mindset to focus on the positives instead of the negatives will help get rid of those pangs of guilt.
5. Find some emotional support
Meeting up with like-minded friends can really help banish those feelings of guilt. Remember a problem shared is a problem halved. By talking with friends who share a similar outlook on life, you can empathise and support each other and feel great about yourselves instead.
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